Transsexual pioneer Renee Richards regrets fame

[NYCe]

Transsexual pioneer Renee Richards regrets fame
Sun Feb 18, 2007 12:07 PM ET

By Belinda Goldsmith

NEW YORK (Reuters) - As Renee Richards, the world's most famous transsexual athlete, looks back on her life, she has one regret -- the fame she attained.

Richards, who was born Richard Raskind, had managed to create a new life for herself as a woman after a sex change operation in 1975 but a year later made a decision that was to have an even greater impact.

She decided to take the United States Tennis Association to court for banning her from playing in women's events at the U.S. Open as she was a transsexual -- and she won, winning headlines globally as a pioneer for transsexual rights.

Richards, now 72 and without a partner, said she does not regret the sex change operation at the age of 40 -- although she might have liked to have gone through the process a bit earlier -- but she does have misgivings about her notoriety.

"I made the fateful decision to go and fight the legal battle to be able to play as a woman and stay in the public eye and become this symbol," Richards, an ophthalmologist, told Reuters in an interview in her Manhattan offices.

"I could have gone back to my office and just carried on with my life and the notoriety would have died down. I would have been able to resume the semblance of a normal life. I could have lived a more private life but I chose not to.

"I have misgivings about that. I am nostalgic about what would have happened if I had done it the other way," said the 6-foot-2-inch tall Richards with an unmistakable air of sadness as she folds her man-sized hands in her lap.

Richards went on to play tennis professionally until 1981 then coached Martina Navratilova for two years before returning to the practice of ophthalmology.

FLEETING FAME

Fame came at a cost for Richards, who as Richard Raskind graduated from Yale, served in the Navy, become a prominent ophthalmologist and internationally known amateur tennis player. Raskind also married and fathered a son, Nick.

Her son, who is now 34 and still refers to her as "Dad" in private, attended many schools and struggled academically. He bounced between jobs before finally settling into a career as a real estate broker specializing in New York lofts.

"I am sure that had a lot to do with the chaos I went through in his childhood," said Richards, who refers to her son as "the apple of my eye."

Although Richards' mother died before her sex change operation, her father refused to acknowledge her sex change, and her sister still denies Richards' existence to friends.

Richards' former wife, who remarried and had another son, only talks to her when they need to discuss their son.

"We don't have a friendship," said Richards.

Forming relationships with men has proved difficult since she gained such notoriety, with Richards only having a couple of long-term boyfriends.

"With my first romances, they didn't know who I was but then I was found out," she said.

"You have to be a pretty strong character to have a relationship with someone who has been a man originally, and famous. I haven't had any romance in a number of years."

Richards, who spends her time between her home in upstate New York and a Manhattan apartment she shares with her son, found fame was also fleeting.

In the mid-1970s and when her memoir, "Second Serve: The Renee Richards Story," came out in 1983, was treated as an curiosity and besieged by television chat shows.

But with the release this month of her second memoir, "No Way Renee, The Second Half of My Notorious Life," few came knocking and television showed no interest.

"It is annoying to me," said Richards. "I'm so ordinary now; they're not interested. There's lots about transsexuals now."

[Felicia Katt]

The alternative title to her autobiography?

Tennis Without Balls

LOL
FK

[AllanahStarrNYC]

She has said quite a few things over the years including at one point regretting SRS, so maybe it's why some people do not take her seriously.

[Felicia Katt]

"It's not something for somebody in their 40s to do, someone who's had a life as a man, - - - If you're 18 or 20 and never had the kind of (advantages) I had, and you're oriented in that direction, sure, go ahead and make right what nature didn't. But if you're a 45-year-old man and you're an airline pilot and you have an ex-wife and three adolescent kids, you better get on Thorazine or Zoloft or Prozac or get locked up or do whatever it takes to keep you from being allowed to do something like this.''
- Renée Richards (Associated Press, Feb. 1999)

that quote is why I don't feel badly about jokes at her expense.

FK

[Chuck]

As old as she is now, I remember when I was a little kid sitting in my dentist's office reading a magazine article about her. Must have been in the mid 70's. As young as I was then, the whole idea of a man changing his sex to a woman really intrigued me. From that moment on I was hooked.

[peggygee]

She has said quite a few things over the years including at one point regretting SRS, so maybe it's why some people do not take her seriously.

From following her through the years, reading her book and
various articles it does seem as if things have not worked out
that great for her.

Was she a good candidate for SRS, perhaps her and her doctors
can better answer that. However she doesn't come across as a
happy individual overall, and many will cite her as a reason not
to have SRS.

Cest la vie. :shrug

[Chuck]

She has said quite a few things over the years including at one point regretting SRS, so maybe it's why some people do not take her seriously.

From following her through the years, reading her book and
various articles it does seem as if things have not worked out
that great for her.

Was she a good candidate for SRS, perhaps her and her doctors
can better answer that. However she doesn't come across as a
happy individual overall, and many will cite her as a reason not
to have SRS.

Cest la vie. :shrug
Those of us who are lucky enough to live to 72 with our minds and memory intact will probably have a shit load of regrets and "what ifs" to ponder. I'm only 40 and am weighed down by the things I've done in the last ten years alone, so I can't imagine what it will be like 32 years from now.

[TrueBeauty TS]

"It's not something for somebody in their 40s to do, someone who's had a life as a man, - - - If you're 18 or 20 and never had the kind of (advantages) I had, and you're oriented in that direction, sure, go ahead and make right what nature didn't. But if you're a 45-year-old man and you're an airline pilot and you have an ex-wife and three adolescent kids, you better get on Thorazine or Zoloft or Prozac or get locked up or do whatever it takes to keep you from being allowed to do something like this.''
- Renée Richards (Associated Press, Feb. 1999)

that quote is why I don't feel badly about jokes at her expense.

FK


But on the other hand, I'm sure we've all seen TS train wrecks that should NEVER have transitioned.... :(



.

[Alison Faraday]

Well at 72, it's a bit late to regret things.

However. If you think about how much jubilation and song is made about transitioning, when someone de-transitions or turns back showing regret then there isn't a great amount of support for them. Which in a way I find sad. So much drama is made of a person's rights to be who they are, as in transitioning. Yet they're not entirely free to dabble and test the water at will, since in almost every case the support of that person just goes, the moment they start voicing doubts. And that's not really a failure in them, but a failure in us.

Oh don't worry, I haven't joined the politically correct brigade just yet, and will switch off just like any of you will. So I still have views and am quite capable of being what is considered quite nasty and bitchy. But as I have become wiser I tend to consider the feelings of others more. For the most part I give people the benefit of the doubt, even though experience tells me not to. I will not change who am I to fit my situation.

It does concern me somewhat how people are almost encouraged to transition, to have SRS, and to have this and that done. There are transsexuals out there who are quite weak minded people really, and to start filling their heads with ideas is very dangerous. With my hands up in the air, I couldn't care less. All of my energy is diverted to me, as I need it, with little bits diverted to other people from time to time. That's not selfishness, that's self preservation.

As for me and SRS, my orchiectomy (balls off) is about as close as I'll get for the time being. I did it so that I didn't have to shove tons of pills through my liver daily. I am quite sincere in that I would have SRS, but until such time that I win the lottery and have unlimited aftercare and a surgeon on constant standby, it can wait.

I have not lost my ability to weigh up a situation and apply reasoning. There is no point mutilating my body when I am struggling for funds or support. That's just lunacy. And I see transsexuals particularly in the UK who see it all as some sort of social inclusion club. "I've had my SRS, but yes, one of my flaps does point north most of the time, and the other one has fallen off due to infection."

Having regrets is very dangerous for a transsexual, both in terms of their mental well being, and how they are perceived by others. Sorry to say it, but they should have thought of that when they were making their decisions. :roll:

[BrendaQG]

At least your grandpa isn't out deriding people who made simmilar decisions in the media.

I know it's taboo to talk like this and whatever but I'm going to say it because in Ms. Richards case it is true. Just read her book she talks about it. Ms. Richards, and people like her, have wierd fantasies about simply being a woman. When they transitions and life does not measure up to those fantasies they are disappointed. Such is why people like her experience so much regret.
She could take some responsibility for not having had realistic expectations.

[RawNY]

Alison:

Every once in a while, someone provides the men here with unique and eloquent insite into the wolrd in which trangender women ( and somethiems men) think and the issues they have to face. Thanks. :)

[MDinMD]

If anybody's interested, there's a picture of her taken almost three years ago (a few months before her 70th birthday) on this page:

http://www.putnamhospital.org/press/press_release.cfm?PressID=338

[truplaya4real]

I think that quote Felicia Katt provided is correct! It seems like too many middle aged married men who've been truck drivers or lumberjacks for most of their lives suddenly decide to transition at 45+ with this fantasy that they're gonna become feminine women by taking hormones alone. They insist their faces have become rounder and soft, their facial hair has stopped growing, their hair hairloss has stopped and grown back, their hips have become wider...ect..it's a joke. They'll never be beautiful let alone feminine. I can't help but shake my head in disgust. I've yet to see an older transitioner look like Janice Dickinson. I know beauty is subjective, but does anyone really find Bob Barker in a wig sexy?

[BrendaQG]

They live in a fantasy and care not for the real world.

[Felicia Katt]

Truplayer, given the intolerance demonstrated in your past posts, I'm not surprised you would misconstrue and miss the point of my post. I provided that quote as a bad example of a negative attitude no one should have, let alone a TS. She equates having a gender identity problem with being schizophrenic, or a criminal. Its an issue, not an illness, and people with it need care and counseling, not to be numbed out or locked up. There are a lot of TS's who should probably think twice and a lot harder before they transition, and for some, doing nothing may be the right answer. For many, however, transitioning may be the only acceptable answer and no amount of counseling may be enough to deter or detour them. Many completely bypass the Benjamin standards of care. Its easy to do, all you need is a passport, and enough money. And for those who take that shortcut, maybe they should expect a bumpy road. But they don't deserve to have people like you trying to shoot their tires out either. It may be hard for you to get this, but TS's don't transition to meet your standards of beauty. They do it to try to achieve inner peace and congruity between their mind and their body. Some expect too much from medicine, but many internalize too much of the blame, and vent it on others in the community when the fault should be borne more by society as a whole. Every TS may want admiration and lust but most would settle for tolerance and respect.

FK

[medmanus]

She has said quite a few things over the years including at one point regretting SRS, so maybe it's why some people do not take her seriously.

From following her through the years, reading her book and
various articles it does seem as if things have not worked out
that great for her.

Was she a good candidate for SRS, perhaps her and her doctors
can better answer that. However she doesn't come across as a
happy individual overall, and many will cite her as a reason not
to have SRS.

Cest la vie. :shrug
Those of us who are lucky enough to live to 72 with our minds and memory intact will probably have a shit load of regrets and "what ifs" to ponder. I'm only 40 and am weighed down by the things I've done in the last ten years alone, so I can't imagine what it will be like 32 years from now.

Well said.

[TrueBeauty TS]

Many completely bypass the Benjamin standards of care. Its easy to do, all you need is a passport, and enough money. And for those who take that shortcut, maybe they should expect a bumpy road.

FK


I doubt there is a girl here who actually goes by the "Benjamin Standards of Care. I sure don't know anybody that does. Especially younger girls.


.

[Shining Star]

Just so you know, statistically those "6'4" truck driver" who transition later in life have a much greater success rate in terms of happiness with their lives post op than many 20 or younger somethings. Many of those older trannies have no illusions of being "Pamela Andersen Lee" or some such nonesense, but are truly unhappy with their born gender. For them merely "changing" their sex is enough. There is also the fact that many having worked long careers as men have good livings and did not/will not need to work as an escort before or after the SRS. Indeed many (weather their employers like it or not), return to work post op and won many lawsuits trying to kick them out of their jobs.

Contrast this with the typical 16 or so trannie getting hormones and having operations without any sort of medical or mental counseling, including the SRS only to realise things are not going to change that much in their lives because their penis is gone.

When Renee Richards was having her "crisis" the only "cure" for transexuals was the operation. There was no taking hormones and having various operations to "turn one into a woman", but stopping short of the big chop. It simply didn't occur to anyone in the medical world that someone feeling trapped in the wrong gender's body would not wish to go all the way. One was told post op to change one's name, move away and start a new life, tell people you were a woman/man etc. That is an awful lot of stress to live under, especially when it is clear to many people you certianly were not what you said you were at birth.

Ms. Richards follows a long list of post op trannies, including Ms. Borenstien saying what many have known for along time; the SRS is not the answer in every case of TS. Even the Benjamin Insititute stopped doing the SRS because the outcomes were not what they should have been. That is by a large majority, post op trannies were just as unhappy/messed up after the operation than before. High suicide rates, lesbianism, and all other out comes dominated, rather than the peaceful life post ops were supposed to lead afterwards.

Today's SRS is streets ahead of that Ms. Richards and early trannies got, but it still cannot fool all the people all of the time. Besides the only thing having the SRS changes is how one has sex. If you looked like a quarterback going into the OR, then you will look like one coming out. On the other hand if one is gorgeous going in, then ......

Think the problem for many post ops is they sort of inhabit a no mans land sort of existence. Yes, one can look like a Penthouse/Playboy model and go after the ST8 male crowd,but then you have two choices; either not tell and go for the ride (hoping no one spills your tea or the guy does not put two and two together), or fess up and risk the guy bolting for the door. Trannie hounds usually want a girl with a working tool, so that avenue is closed.

IMHO think more girls will remain "non-op", especially as laws in favour of the GLTB community increase, and baring discrimination.

[BrendaQG]

Shining star.

You just don't get it.

Richards there was the option of not having the operation back then. Heck there have been people who are psychologically exactly like us as long as their have been people. The reason she transitoned was purely and simply to full fill a fantasy.

If someone had, as they say, a "truly femine gender identity" then transition would always work out for them. Since for old hands like her transition rarely works out, that is proof enough for me that, that way of thinking is bull. She transitoned for the sake of realizing a fantasy pure and simple.

[eggbert]

Richards did not say that she regretted having the surgery. She said she regretted 1- not having the surgery when she was younger & 2- putting herself in the public spotlight.

[BrendaQG]

To regret the operation for any reason is to regret it.

Read her biolgraphy and you will find that it did not occur to her that she was any thing but a guy until she was 40.