I've been so gassy lately

[Scandinavia]

Hello everybody,

I have been eating lots of beens lately. I love the taste of baked beans, but the problem is it makes me so gassy. I've been farting constantly for the last couple of days, and it STINKS!. This here coming weekend I have a date with the woman of my dreams, but if I keep farting as I have done the last couple of days the whole date is going to be an embarrassing experience. If I happen to end up in bed with her and she'd like to fuck me in the ass with a strap-on dildo and makes my asshole wide open so all the gass will come out without me having to fart first (I'll be unable to control the gass), it could be a rather stinking experience too! So I'm seeking advice here from you guys who have been around the block a few times before. You guys (or gurrrrlllllssssss) here on the forum who are involved in the adult film industry... how do you solve this here problem is a star in a movie has an upset stomach or is just very gassy the day you are going to shoot? Many thanks in advance!

[JohnnyWalkerBlackLabel]

Nah fuck that..........................

LOL, how you gonna reply to this ridiculous post then delete that fuckin great reply????

No fair; anyway...........

Look

This gas topic is full of it (pun intended)

If you are stupid enough to bend over while some broad straps on a dildo and proceeds to make you call her "Big Papi" while you're full of Con Edison-like natural gasses then you deserve to implode and/or she deserves to be raped nasally by your nasty, stinking, decrepid fart weapons from your anus......................... nuff said

[Teabagger Vance]

I recommend this functional, yet stylish item.

[Scandinavia]

If you are stupid enough to bend over while some broad straps on a dildo and proceeds to make you call her "Big Papi" while you're full of Con Edison-like natural gasses then you deserve to implode and/or she deserves to be raped nasally by your nasty, stinking, decrepid fart weapons from your anus......................... nuff said[/quote]


No I'm not going to be stupid enough to bend over etc... My point was: How do I solve the gass problem before I get there?

[peggygee]

Hello everybody,

I have been eating lots of beens lately. I love the taste of baked beans, but the problem is it makes me so gassy. I've been farting constantly for the last couple of days, and it STINKS!. This here coming weekend I have a date with the woman of my dreams, but if I keep farting as I have done the last couple of days the whole date is going to be an embarrassing experience. If I happen to end up in bed with her and she'd like to fuck me in the ass with a strap-on dildo and makes my asshole wide open so all the gass will come out without me having to fart first (I'll be unable to control the gass), it could be a rather stinking experience too! So I'm seeking advice here from you guys who have been around the block a few times before. You guys (or gurrrrlllllssssss) here on the forum who are involved in the adult film industry... how do you solve this here problem is a star in a movie has an upset stomach or is just very gassy the day you are going to shoot? Many thanks in advance!


To say that you must be shitting me, hell I ain't even going there.

My thoughts, if I must have any (and this is like a gruesome car wreck you can't look away from)

Beano from the drugstore, enemas twice daily, LOTS of incense, air spray, re-schedule the date, go for oral, tell her it's 'your time of the month', stay away from cabbage, milk, cauliflower, anything inducing flatulence.

And let's speak of this no more :oops:

[suckseed]

Seems like as good a time as any to tell this story - many years ago, a girl I knew but was not lovers with had me over and made some kind of vegan stirfry with tofu for us. It was tasty, but within a half hour, I was making up any excuse at all to go outside for a minute. After a while, she started putting the moves on me; I was really into her, and went with it. Finally she gave me a little smile, took my hand, and led me upstairs to her bed. I managed to hold it in until I was actually fucking her. Three loud elephant blasts in perfect sync with my thrusts! I said "Excuse me~!" To her credit, she ever said a word. But my eyes are watering right now as I crack up remembering that night. :oops: :lol: :shock:

[Teabagger Vance]

Well, if you can't take care of the problem before you get there, maybe you could try this on for size:

[suckseed]

that's just wrong...I feel so...normal.

[ezed]

Hello everybody,

I have been eating lots of beens lately. I love the taste of baked beans, but the problem is it makes me so gassy. I've been farting constantly for the last couple of days, and it STINKS!. This here coming weekend I have a date with the woman of my dreams, but if I keep farting as I have done the last couple of days the whole date is going to be an embarrassing experience. If I happen to end up in bed with her and she'd like to fuck me in the ass with a strap-on dildo and makes my asshole wide open so all the gass will come out without me having to fart first (I'll be unable to control the gass), it could be a rather stinking experience too! So I'm seeking advice here from you guys who have been around the block a few times before. You guys (or gurrrrlllllssssss) here on the forum who are involved in the adult film industry... how do you solve this here problem is a star in a movie has an upset stomach or is just very gassy the day you are going to shoot? Many thanks in advance!

I'd say you're full of shit! HAHAAAA LOL! .....dingbat