A Little Trip Through Hell

[hondarobot]

I just finished off my last bit of whiskey. There's no more booze in the house. I could go out, go to work, drink for free, but I'm not going to do it.

I'm gonna detox. It's gonna suck, but it's something I wanna do. I have nothing against casual drinking, but I've been a raging drunk and have been for most my life. I liked to party, then I took it home with me. It will kill me sooner or later.

This is going to be painful. If anyone is interested in the process, I'll keep ya posted in this thread.

Tomarrow is gonna be bad. Not looking forward to that shit, but what ya gonna do? It's interesting. . . I'm already feeling a slight ache in my bones.

I'm fairly certain this will get worse. hehe. Probably a lot worse.

This is not a cry for sympathy, just an online documentation of a process.

[canihavu]

Cool. Let us know how you make out. I am not quite ready to give up booze yet, but this is interesting to me.

[olite71]

My suggestion is not that you try to detox totally. Wake up, have a busy day eat well and then have three drinks or less, period. Do that for a month and watch your life improve.

Then after that it will be easier to graduate to two drinks a day---which makes you a social drinker.


If you just go cold turkey it will be much easier to rebound then if you gradually come down.

[peggygee]

I liked to party, then I took it home with me. It will kill me sooner or later.

.

Ten years clean and sober, I am not quite in Heaven, more like purgatory.

Had set up residence in Hell, back when I was using.

If, I had kept up it up I would have been a permanent resident in one of the three.

Vaya con dios, amigo.

[hondarobot]

I like the idea of having the two or three drinks at the end of day. Of course I like the idea of drinking in whatever proportions and at whatever times, or else I wouldn't have indulged in the process for so long and so enthusiastically.

That's the problem with being a maintenance drinker. It's not some Leaving Las Vegas bonanza of alcohol abuse. It's all very controlled and plotted out. Ordinarily, since this is a day off for me, I'd do my morning routine, take some vitamins, eat, shower, clean the apartment, and then drink.

Days off are special in that they become broken down into three drinking sessions: morning, nap, evening, nap, night, sleep. Liquor was the grease that made the machine run seemingly smooth and steadily.

Nothing really dramatic to report thus far. Hands are shaking slightly, but I think that's more psychological then anything else. My body knows what's about to happen to it.

Tough love. Hehe.

[hondarobot]

OK, this sucks so far. Anyone planning the "drinki drinki" detox, here's what ya got comming:

Unspecified irritation, boredom (I laid on the couch watching Dr. Phill and a bunch of other shit today), shakey hands, muscle spasms, feeling like you have the flu, thinking "what the hell am I doing? I liked drinking!", and just generally feeling like shit.

Things for me accelerated to the point where I had to run to the local liquor store tonight because I became convinced I was on the verge of having a heart attack or something.

It was just detox anxiety, but it can really fuck with a person.

Got a pint and a half bottle of beer (gone already) and a pint of whiskey. Had one whiskey. Feeling OK now. I'll get some sleep and see what happens.

It's kinda funny really. This shit can really get it's claws in a person over the years.

[ezed]

OK, this sucks so far. Anyone planning the "drinki drinki" detox, here's what ya got comming:

Unspecified irritation, boredom (I laid on the couch watching Dr. Phill and a bunch of other shit today), shakey hands, muscle spasms, feeling like you have the flu, thinking "what the hell am I doing? I liked drinking!", and just generally feeling like shit.

Things for me accelerated to the point where I had to run to the local liquor store tonight because I became convinced I was on the verge of having a heart attack or something.

It was just detox anxiety, but it can really fuck with a person.

Got a pint and a half bottle of beer (gone already) and a pint of whiskey. Had one whiskey. Feeling OK now. I'll get some sleep and see what happens.

It's kinda funny really. This shit can really get it's claws in a person over the years.

Hey Honda, it's me ezed, back off to just beer. buy 30 packs. ditch the hard stuff..... forever. You got to slow down. The hard stuff only accelerates shit, gives no enjoyment. you just pass out faster and do damage to yourself.

[crayons]

Very interesting thread. I will be checking this regularly. Wish you the best of luck too.

[olite71]

Flow with it. I'm a textbook functional alchie...so I know the drill. But I'm very disciplined. Not to say this is any life, but it's the only life I like... The bad thing about success (which i have) is that it can simultaneously breed or reinforce bad habits....who knows. I love whiskey and knowledge and love and people...necessarily in that order.

[hondarobot]

Hey ezed, good to see ya. I agree, it's called "the hard stuff" for a reason.

Nice to meet ya olite71. I say stick with what works for ya. Being a drunk clearly hit the wall for me, so this is where I am now.

Day 2: Hard to type, hands shaking pretty bad (not that I was ever a great typist to begin with). It's almost amusing in a way, like having a duel case of Evil Hand Syndrome.

Difficult to sleep last night, kept waking up from weird dreams. Those are the aspects I think I'm going to really hate, the things I have absolutely no control over. Maybe I'll look stuff up on "Lucid Dreaming Techniques" or something, try to get that stuff under control.

And I feel hungover, even though I didn't in fact get drunk last night. Not by my criteria, at least. I'm drinking tons of water, that seems to help things.

Plan for today is to get two large bottles of beer, hold off until later tonight, drink them and go to bed. I'm glad I'm not going through this when I'm old, I think I picked the right time to slam the brakes on.

[hondarobot]

I guess it's time to end this thread. I believe my detoxification is complete, and I shouldn't really be the person documenting this process. I get lucky with these sorts of things for some reason, so my experience probably isn't the norm. I drank to excess pretty much every day for at least 15 years, and all I got was shakey hands for a day and a half.

I'm honestly not bragging or being dismissive of this topic. I just really do get lucky. I know. I suck.

I would encourage anyone on this forum who is currently drinking or using whatever substance to excess, to at least cut back for a bit just to see if you feel any better. I'm never going to be some preachy, sanctimonius "recovered drunk" jack-ass. People should live like they want as long as it's not adversely affecting others. I'm just saying I'm glad I cooled things off at last, I was really heading for trouble. At the moment I can't believe I did that for so long, just became a habit I suppose.

Now I am going to have a nice, relaxing beer. I don't feel any compulsion at all to drink one, really, but I have two in the fridge so why not? I still plan on at least being a social drinker.

Oh, and tomarrow night on CBS, new series Jericho premiers. It could be totally aweful, but the premise is about a small Kansas town in the aftermath of a (apparently) global nuclear war. I know, it might suck, but I got a feeling it might be pretty cool. I'll post my review after the show in case anyone is interested.

If nothing else it stars one of the former guys from Simon and Simon, so it's got that going for it. I can't remember the actors name, but he was the guy who played Simon.

:)